What have you been up to?

What have you been up to?

How do I explain how much adoption "stuff" has taken over my life for the last seven months? 


"So, what have you been up to?"

Every time I've been asked this by a friend or acquaintance recently, I freeze. “This and that,” I answer vaguely. For those who know me well I am rarely vague; this can only mean I am hiding something. And I am: this blog. I’m currently leading a double life which only a few of my friends and family members know about.


The truth about what I’ve been up to over the last seven months is:

None of these things are strictly a secret as such, my blog is sensitive because I’d prefer to have tricky conversations with my parents and my birth parents face-to-face before they read about them online, and also I need to consider the confidentially around my sister and my family members who have been adopted or are in kinship care. These things do not concern my here-and-now friends and colleagues, and yet I find myself being cagey about it. Trauma and loss is not something you can throw around in a conversation willy nilly! That’s why I value the adoptee community - and the wonderful support I have found on Twitter.

However, the colleagues I have told about the blog have been really supportive and have even shared some of my posts, which makes me think maybe adoption isn’t such a niche topic after all. I always presumed it would not be of interest to anyone who wasn’t adopted or hadn’t adopted a child or lost a child to adoption. A number of people have revealed to me that adoption has touched them in some way, whether it’s a brother and his husband adopting young siblings or a “secret” cousin never mentioned but often thought about. 

I think I needed to get all this written down, it goes some way to explaining why I’m behind with my work-that-pays-the-bills, I thought all this adoption stuff was just a hobby but perhaps it’s a full-time job!

I am not your shame

I am not your shame

Self-care meet-up for adoptees by On Being Adopted - my review

Self-care meet-up for adoptees by On Being Adopted - my review