Meet Twayna Mayne: comedian, black woman and transracial adoptee
Introducing transracial adoptee and host of the adoption and fostering podcast Loco Parentis, and the writer and comedian behind the Radio 4 series Black Woman.
Twayna and I first met on Twitter when she released her podcast Loco Parentis in 2018. Since then Twayna’s gone on to write and perform a comedy show on Radio 4 called Black Woman where, as well as talking about black British identity, she also talks about being a transracial adoptee growing up in the UK in the 90s.
Twayna and her older brothers were adopted into a white family and their two younger brothers were adopted into another family just round the corner. Officially Twayna’s paperwork went through when she was 14, and she remembers going to the High Court in London “to be adopted”.
In episode one of her Radio 4 series Twayna talks about being an adoptee and specifically a transracial adoptee. Recorded in front of a live audbnwich I enjoyed a few chuckles at Twayna’s adoption jokes, although – as you’ll know if you follow me on Twitter – woe betide any non-adoptees joking about adoption! The power of humour is truly amazing, and I often feel much lighter after having a good giggle with my adopted friends about it all. Twayna’s humour is bang-on the money, and I really admire her and anyone who has the courage to bring niche topics such as adoption to the mainstream, particularly in a stand-up comedian capacity.
Twayna’s Radio 4 series covers how it felt to be one of only a few black children at her school, and how she also experienced a level of white privilege as a result of being brought up in a white middle class family. She challenges the number of white people who say they want to adopt a black child, and says “If transracial adoption is no big deal – and I think it is – then we should all be able to get in on the act…It’s time to stop romanticising adoption, particularly of children in care and ethnic minorities.”
The Black Woman series is highly recommended and I hope Radio 4 commissions Twayna for a new series. You can also check out her other episodes on identity and representation, gender and sexuality and colourism.
As I mentioned, Twayna and I first met when she launched her Loco Parentis podcast. As one of the only UK-based adoption podcasts by an adoptee, I was delighted when it launched. I recommend all the podcast episodes, particularly the episode with Marleigh Price on race, identity and how adoption is a lifelong journey and not a singular event. Twayna and Marleigh talk about the feeling of straddling multiple worlds that adoptees and care experienced people often talk of feeling, where we feel like we’re responsible for managing the emotions of both our adoptive parents and biological parents. Managing these complexities can be very exhausting for us.
Marleigh’s dad’s family didn’t know she existed until she was in her 20s. She talks about how being adopted cuts you off from the rest of your extended family: aunties, uncles, grandparents, etc. Twayna says she identifies with this as, although she was adopted with two brothers, and their other two brothers lived locally with a different adoptive family, they had no contact with their wider biological family until adulthood. There’s been a lot of talk recently on Twitter and at conferences such as the One Adoption conference I spoke at in February 2020 about challenging the norms around contact with first families, including siblings, after adoption. Twayna presents an important point: if your siblings are in touch with your bios, this can be quite awkward if you don’t want to be in touch with them. The interview also touches on some of the joys and challenges experienced after reunion, with Marleigh talking about discovering she dances like her cousins, but also ruminating that 30 years of separate experiences cannot be overcome immediately just because you are ‘blood’.
The Loco Parentis podcast is rated 5/5 on Apple Podcasts and Twayna’s guests include many familiar names from the UK adoption and fostering landscape including Martin Barrow, Andy Elvin from TACT and Professor Anna Gupta from Royal Holloway University. As well as professionals, she also interviews some of her friends who have been adopted or care experienced, including fellow comedian, writer and actor Sophie Willan, With her podcast guests, Twayna’s style is relaxed and informal - more like a conversation over a cup of tea than a formal interview.
I really urge you to have a listen to both the Radio 4 series and the podcast. As Twayna herself says: “I hope you enjoy it, and if you don’t - it’s on you.”
Photo by Matt Stronge.
