Finding my voice through adoption blogging
Happy blogging birthday to me! Happy blogging birthday to me! Happy blogging birthday How To Be Adopted! Happy blogging birthday to meeee! This was the year I came out of the woodwork and started to use my real name and photo, and it’s been exhilarating. Here’s a little summary - do read to the end to find out how you can get involved in what’s next for How To Be Adopted.
Photo and full name in a lil’ ol’ publication called Grazia
This past year has been a wild ride, as I decided to shed by anonymity in a very public way with this piece in Grazia magazine, written by journalist and PR guru Isabella D’Emilio. I didn’t sleep properly for weeks and even phoned my mum to check she was ok with it before it was published. I know, cringe. Funny how the need to be ‘approved of’ by my parents is still strong even at the age of 39! I cannot stand upsetting them. But I know I need to speak my truth to help myself and others. In his YouTube seminar on Adoption and Addiction, Paul Sunderland says the biggest indicator of a child’s wellbeing is for their mother to be able to tell a cohort narrative of her life, so I owe it to my kids to get all this organised and articulated.
Never thought I’d end up looking constipated in Grazia magazine…
I’m actually very emotional about the feedback I still get on this piece because I had no idea I would have additional challenges around pregnancy, birth and feeding my baby, as a result of my early experiences. I hope to raise awareness and get more support for new parents who have had early trauma themselves.
Speaker at One Adoption conference on identity and contact
In February I was honoured to be asked by One Adoption and PAC-UK to speak at their identity and contact event. Although One Adoption is an adoption agency, they are committed to supporting adoptees and first families, which some agencies only pay lip service to. There were other adoptees and first families on the panel as well which helped me make up my mind (Clarissa and Dee are dream cheerleaders, thank you ladies).
I was shaking like a leaf but honestly? I loved it. I said everything I wanted to say both about being an older adoptee still searching for pieces of my identity, and about being an auntie and having restricted contact with my nieces and nephews. Many of the delegates came up to me afterwards and/or emailed me to say it it was a powerful presentation which encouraged them to make meaningful changes in their practice.
If you would like me to present to your organisation, please get in touch.
Live (yes, live!) Facebook chat with The Adoption & Fostering podcast
Al Coates has been politely badgering me for years to appear on his podcast, but I went one better and did a Facebook live. We touched on many of the topics I raised in my speech at One Adoption, including my perspective as a first aunt maintaining a relationship with nieces who have been adopted or are in foster/kinship care, and the lack of UK-wide support for adoptees.
First Facebook Live, thanks Al and Scott
AdopteesOn inteview
In for a penny, in for a pound! I’d already had the pleasure of speaking to Haley for her Adoptees OffScript episodes, and now this AdopteesOn interview was a dream come true. It wasn’t perfect, but I am very happy with the outcome. I even named my birth parents cos I was feeling KICKASS!
My friend Joe, who will be my partner in the forthcoming How To Be Adopted podcast said, “You were funny, passionate, vulnerable and brave.” Thanks Joe!
Celebrating this milestone, thank you Haley
What’s coming up in year four?
There is so much exciting stuff coming up, I cannot wait to tell you all. The focus will be on sharing adoptee voices through the upcoming podcast and supporting the UK community of adoptees. To be the first to find out, please do get on the How To Be Adopted mailing list. We never spam you - in fact we have never even sent an email yet!
Speaking of which, How To Be Adopted is a passion project on top of my two real jobs: being a mum and being a content editor and strategist for a digital agency. If you’ve found the blog helpful, you can now buy me coffee which three people already have - thanks lovely people. Or, if you’d like to donate to an amazing charity, The Open Nest is what inspired me to start this blogging journey.
