On Roxy, The Traitors’ first adoptee….

Mainstream representation at last!

This is written in solidarity and to send a great big hug to any adopted people watching BBC’s The Traitors.

Finally we have real representation on a mainstream, prime time tv show. And not a one-dimensional character introduced as plot twist in a soap opera, a real person! I haven’t been this excited since I found out Happy the Crocodile from Hey Duggee is adopted (CBeebies confirmed that he is!)

So, when the contestants had the dinner party where they told a bit of their backstory I was on the edge of my seat. Come on Roxy! 6 million people are watching! Will the way you choose to present your story help the adoptees watching to feel seen and understood, even minutely?

Reader, she went with the grateful angle.

The old chestnut of wanting to do something nice for the woman who raised her, Judy - her adoptive mother, and an earlier contestant in the series.

Now I’m not here to put words into Roxy’s mouth. I have no idea about her story or background. And truth be told I was heavily invested in the gratitude angle when I was Roxy’s age. But there was just a teeny glimmer of hope inside me that she might acknowledge some trauma or at the very least some ambivalence (aka mixed feelings).

Hopes were similarly raised when Dilly from Sort Your Life Out posted about life as an adoptee being “nuanced”. But before we could get the bunting out she signed up to be an advocate for an adoptive parent charity.

If you’re reading this Roxy and you ever want to use your voice and profile to help other adoptees feel seen, I beg you not to become a mouthpiece for adoption recruitment but consider one of the brilliant adoptee-led organisations instead.

Also if you’re reading this, I can guess you might take being banished quite hard / as well as any negative comments online (rejection sensitivity) so well done to you for putting yourself forward for the programme.

And, most importantly, if you’re an adoptee who was watching the Traitors’ dinner party with bated breath and ended up feeling rather deflated, I see you, I hear you. I am reaching out with a big “I get it” hug.

One day people will know how complicated and nuanced things are for us, but until then, we’ve got each other.

Happy the Crocodile from Hey Duggee! (he’s adopted!)

Image of Roxy credit: Cody Burridge/BBC/PA Wire