How the peer group for adopted people began in North London
After two years online, it was time to start meeting in person again. The group I had been coordinating with Adopt North London (formerly the North London Consortium) were not yet ready to begin IRL meetings due to covid health and safety and social distancing concerns at their venue. So I decided to be brave and set up a group locally.
What had stopped me before? Honestly, because I am not a trainer therapist or social worker i was afraid of people being triggered in the group and leaving in distress, or worse. But I began to balance this risk with the number of adopted people already in distress alone with no support from their local authority and no charities or national organisations specifically for adoptees. I have also been training as a Kundalini Global yoga teacher which has taught me how to be trauma informed and how to hold a safe space. After consulting with a number of therapists, respected colleagues who work in the adoption sector, and - of course - Gilli who runs a group for adopted people in Warrington, I decided to take the plunge.
I initially approached my local library who were really enthusiastic. They offered me a room and put my posters up in the window! After announcing the group on Twitter and Instagram I had 10-12 people interested immediately. Many were from my local area - which is amazing to think we have been living close by all these years without knowing! But some were from further afield which highlighted how far people are willing to travel in the middle of a weekday, just to meet other adopted people and feel seen, heard and supported.
Sadly the library had a leak and I had five days to find another venue. I channelled my inner Anneka Rice and made a lot of calls! A gorgeous local pub offered their backroom, and the event was back on!
So far we have had two meetings IRL, with a third planned for late February. We have strict-ish group guidelines and boundaries, to help me feel confident facilitating. It feels like a warm and safe space, and we are all at the very beginning of getting to know one another.
Keep you posted! If you are reading this and you live elsewhere, please know that we are planning to have a group up and running in every town and city in the UK! Hang tight. And please support How To Be Adopted if you can. We are not looking to make money from anyone’s challenges - we believe support should be provided free and for life. But until this is a reality, we do need to cover costs.
Photos by: https://www.mvkphotography.co.uk
