Sorry these seats are taken: a short reflection on adoption reunion

As some of you will know my reunion hit a bit of a stumbling block earlier this year after being fairly rosy for a good number of years. I’ll go into this in more detail when I’m done processing everything as it’s all still pretty fresh. It has a lot to do with coming out of the fog, I think.

In the meantime, this is just a short reflection that came to me after journaling the other evening before bed.

Imagine being invited to a small party and when you arrive the host greets you warmly but doesn’t offer to take your coat. Confusing, huh? This is how reunion felt to me.

Imagine you arrive to meet friends in the pub and they don’t shift up to make room for you at the table. They seem pleased to see you; they are smiling. But no one offers to make room for you. Afterwards you realise they were only smiling with their mouths.

I really wanted them to shimmy up to make room for me at the table, even if someone’s bum cheek was hanging off the edge of the bench. Reunion felt like the whole table just shrugged and said it’s lovely to see you but these seats are taken.

I would love to hear about your experiences with reunion, and if you have found journaling to be useful in managing the feelings around adoption. It’s great to be able to share what’s in our toolkits.